Helping Children of Addiction

Alcoholism and drug addiction is taking a toll on the American family. As a result, 8.3 million children in the United States, approximately 11%, live with at least one parent who is in need of treatment for alcohol or drug dependency. One in four children under the age of 18 is living in a home where alcoholism or alcohol abuse is a fact of daily life. Countless others are exposed to illegal drug use in their families.

The toll addiction takes on these children can be substantial. Children of Addiction (COAs) are at significantly greater risk for:

Mental illness or emotional problems, such as depression or anxiety;

Physical health problems; and

Learning problems, including difficulty with cognitive and verbal skills, conceptual reasoning and abstract thinking.

In addition, children whose parents abuse alcohol or drugs are almost 3 times more likely to be verbally, physically or sexually abused and 4 times more likely than other children to be neglected.

Most adults can support COAs in 3 ways. First, you can provide children with age-appropriate information about alcohol, drugs and the disease of addiction. The most important messages for COAs to hear from trusted adults are:

Alcohol/drug dependency is an illness. It is not your fault that your parent drinks too much or uses drugs, and you are not responsible for correcting it.

You can take care of yourself by talking with a trusted person and making healthy choices in your own life.

Treatment for alcohol/drug dependency is available and can be effective in getting a parent with addiction on the road to recovery.

You are not alone. You need and deserve services. There are safe people and places that can help you.

Second, you can teach children how to identify and express their feelings in healthy ways, especially by seeking out and speaking with "safe" adults. You can guide them toward educational support programs at school or in your community. Such programs can help them develop coping skills to deepen their innermost strength and resilience.

Third, and perhaps most important, you can take the time to develop a healthy adult/child relationship with a COA who needs you. Children who live in alcohol and drug dependent families learn not to trust adults. By offering your time and an open ear to provide assurance and validation, you can counteract much of that mistrust and make an immeasurable and positive impact on a child's life.

If you are in a position to influence the adults in the family, help them find a qualified professional who is experienced with intervention and can help them get the assessment and treatment they need to begin recovery. An actual family intervention only should be undertaken with a qualified professional who is experienced in the intervention process.